21 Reasons not to see 21

1) It costs more than 50 cents.

2) It's based on a book, a nonfiction book, and while I haven't read the source material I spent a lot of time thinking I bet that didn't happen in the book.

3) Jim Sturgess is deprived of his British accent. (see totally cute and with a british accent cuter)

4) Supports the premise that a white male going to Harvard Medical School would ever be in the running for a full scholarship based on "standing out from the crowd"

5) Supports the illusion that anyone who looks remotely like Kate Bosworth would ever go to MIT. (see two equally unbelivable images below)

6) Kate Bosworth

7) Kate Bosworth's funny shaped head. (this picture doesn't even do justice to the bulging bulb in the back of her head)

8) Kate Bosworth's scarily visible rib cage. Yes I know you did your best to try and hide it but we saw it anyway.

9) Hiding your casino winnings in the drop ceiling of your dorm room. I would have sooner believed digging a hole for a shoebox. You are supposed to be smart.

10) The idea that playing repeatedly at the same casino when there are lots of other casinos to play at is a good way not to get caught. You are supposed to be smart.

11) "Smart" people not being smart.

12) Foolproof signals like crossing your arms behind your back? The crime signals in Mad Money made more sense.

13) They say "the best thing about Vegas is getting to be whoever you want" when everyone knows the best thing about Vegas is wandering down the street wasted at 2:00 in the afternoon carrying a two foot high Eiffel tower drink and high-fiving other people who are probably drunker than you are.

14) Lawrence Fishburn has a Giant Face.

15) Tries to push sympathy for casino "loss prevention" boss who beats people up because he is losing his job to computers. Tear. :'( If you change your rings to hit someone in the face, I am not going to feel sorry for you.

16) Talks about Newton's formulas.

17) Way way too much math.

18) Whiney nerdy friends who rain on the fun parade of their now confident friend.

19) Unnecessary dancing stripper scenes.

20) It will make you want to go to Vegas and no you aren't going to win any money. No, no you aren't going to win any money.

21) Kate Bosworth (eek her eyes are like a husky, so frightening)

Lars the Real Weirdo

Lars and the Real Girl

Supposed Premise: Lars, a 27-year-old who lives in the garage of the house he grew up in, has some serious mental issues. His mother died giving birth to him, breaking his father’s heart and leaving ole Daddy silent and sad for the rest of his life. Lars’s older brother is married (and gets to live in the big house!) and his wife is newly pregnant, leading to Lars to have a nasty break-up with reality. His new relationship is with a full size woman doll (anatomically correct!) Will he and Bianca live happily ever after, or will she, like his mother, die tragically? (See right: Lars and Bianca share a romantic meal together, wherein Lars cuts her meat. And no, that is not an euphemism.)

Excellent Casting: What could be creepy and awkward (a man dating a sex doll) is endearing and sad, thanks to the fantastic work of Ryan Gosling. Man, has this guy come a long way from The Notebook. (Of course, some might think he has regressed, given the fact he got to make out with Rachel McAdams in that movie, as opposed to a doll. But she’s very lifelike! And she’s from the Bahamas!) If you are socially awkward and feel like taking a leaf out of Lars' book you can buy a real doll too, but if you want people to treat her like a human we would choose a less stripper name. Come on. Bianca? (See left: How could you say no to that face?)

Emily Mortimer as Caring Sister-in-law: Emily Mortimer’s character is the first to accept and treat the doll as human, leading the rest of the small town to do the same. Eventually, Bianca the doll has a more active social life than Lars – she “models” at a hair salon three times a week, volunteers at the children’s hospital, and gets elected to the School Board. It’s always the quiet ones who surprise you…. (See Right. How does you properly greet a doll? Sit on your hands to avoid running from the room screaming.)

Heart-Melting Scene: Who can resist a man who gives CPR and mouth-to-mouth to a teddy bear who has been cruelly hung by a coworker? Not this reviewer, who would totally have dated Lars afterward, despite the whole mentally-unstable, dates-a-doll thing. We’ve all got our problems, man.

Hair Watch: Ryan Gosling’s mustache was a little too child-molester for us, especially considering the fact that he is crazy. His hair was a little on the dirty side as well, but he is playing a psycho. They don’t shower frequently. (Compare Left vs. Right. One is icky, the other is cute)

Wardrobe: Bianca’s: Classy, yet comfortable. Everyone else’s: So. Many. Layers. Why do people live in Wisconsin, again? Yee-ikes.

Conclusion: We’d pay actual full price to see this movie. Of course, we didn’t, but we would if ever given the opportunity!