When Giant Faces Attack

GIANT Faces

Perhaps it is the nature of watching people on a overly large screen, or perhaps it rises from the comparative tininess of other malnourished actor faces, but some actors we have noticed have GIANT faces. So proportionally large it can be wondered, often in times of romantic interludes, will the one face devour the other? Case in point, before Fiona turns into a swollen ogre in Shrek, Shrek could fit her whole head in his mouth. Shrek's face = giant face.

Full fledged membership in the Giant Faces Club and Giant Faces movie franchise follows a mention here:

Jeffrey Dean Morgan: Your character Denny made us cry when he died on Grey's Anatomy (back when we watched it before it started to suck) Your Irish accent in P.S. I love you was surprising, but it was your giant face next to Hilary Swank's that made us think: oh no Hilary, take your headbands and run.

Billie Piper: Most people, if they know you at all, recognize you as one of the girls who has traveled through space and time with Dr. Who. Not us. We found your work in the new adaptation of Mansfield Park particularly big faced. We know, we know, they tried so hard to disguise with your icky hair all in your face. Kind of like the picture to the left, but we knew the truth. You have a GIANT face.

Javier Bardem: Props on the Oscar. We haven't seen No Country for Old Men yet. The title reminded us too much of Florida to pay more than 50 cents for it, but we did see your acceptance speech. Cute how you thanked your mom. You have a Giant Face. (and an odd facial similarity to Jeffrey Dean Morgan)

Jimmy Smits: It was difficult to find a recent picture of you. Most of your google results look suave and are from about 15 years ago. But you couldn't hide that Giant Face in Jane Austen Book Club. Really, Amy Brenneman looked like crap run over twice the whole movie and still I was shocked about your Giant face. The only thing less believable than her as a Hispanic, is that her character got back together with your Giant Face.

Queen Latifah: You're Cover Girl commercials say look at my face look at my face and we did. It's GIANT. Welcome.

Stephen Root: Milton Waddams. You are a great character actor. I hope some day you burn down my office building. I just hope the shade from your Giant face doesn't prevent the fire from truly catching.

Laurence Fishburne: We all know the Matrix (the original not the sequels) was awesome. Next to Keanu Reeves' expressionless acting it was hard to find any fault with you.... but in 21 they kept zooming on your face, you scary intimidating GIANT face. Really Giant. Maybe you need more of those matrixy sunglasses?